Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
