the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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