so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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