Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
