so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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