I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
