home. puking in laundry basket.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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