garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
