KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
