We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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