Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
