So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
