she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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