Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
