Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
