dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
