He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Girls should come with a carfax report
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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