He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
