would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
