Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
