none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
