dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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