I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize