Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Someone shit on the floor
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have fence marks all over my body
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
