If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
