Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
