I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
