By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
