This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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