What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
