Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
