we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
