So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize