I think my vagina is haunted
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
