a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
