do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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