I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Duck Duck Cougar?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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