lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
