i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
