i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
