he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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