Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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