Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
two words: eviction party
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You were trust falling into bushes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
