My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
