Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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