sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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