i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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