So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
