Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize