He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
