Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
