It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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