dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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