I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
