Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Drunk is not a location!
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