i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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