btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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