you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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