Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
