when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
