We won't sleep together?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
