If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
