Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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