Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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