nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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