Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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