yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
