whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
