he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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