Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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