I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
