I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
