ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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