why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
